Big baby...

What is it about marriage that makes a person turn into a wimp? Well, maybe it hasn't turned you into one but it has me. Jeff is out of town (left yesterday, coming home tomorrow morning) and I find that I am the biggest baby while he is gone. Never mind the fact that some nights he doesn't get home until 7:30-8 (after dark) but it just seems different when he is GONE. I find that when he is out of town that I have to have every light on in the apartment and then, before bed, I sequentially go through the apartment checking out every room as I turn the lights off. Then to make matters worse I usually will shut all possible doors and sleep with my cell phone in hand! Now I never had this problem before I was married. I mean my first year of grad school I live at Hickory Village (not the best apt complex in Mishawaka--kind of sketchy) and I lived in a studio apartment on the "garden" level and it never bothered me to come home from lab at 2 a.m.! Even when I had roommates and they left town it never seemed to bother me, but now when Jeff's gone it drives me crazy! Today, while I was trying to convince myself that I was the biggest baby in the world, I decided to look up the crime stats for Kent County MD vs St Joseph County IN...let's see...it's no comparison! St Joe had ~16K crimes in 2000 and Kent only 414!!! (Granted the population difference is immense but I didn't factor that in to my stats.) Oh and before looking up the crime stats I even tried and convince Peggy to come spend the night...she said she would but that she wouldn't be here till 4 a.m...kind of defeats the purpose BUT she was willing :) So after rationalizing my irrational fear this afternoon I have decided that I am NOT going to turn ever light on (maybe just 1/2 of them) and I might even be brave enough to sleep with the bedroom door open (can't go too crazy now can we). Wish me luck!